Trust. It doesn’t always feel easy, and doesn’t come with the certainty we often hope for. Trust is hanging onto that golden thread gifted to us from Divine grace, and staying on the path even as the mind is fighting and struggling to make logical sense of what is present, what is happening.

I was knocked down, contracted in anguish and anxiety, heartsick, physically weak, heart cracking wide open to the pain of this existence, of Mother Earth and all creatures sustained by Her. I was feeling the violence, the rape, the brutality and the separation that we are inflicting upon Her, that we are inflicting upon ourselves and others. Mixed into this toxic heap was guilt. My own capacity for all of these energies and actions, my own participation in destruction in all its forms.

Gently, I came back through the gateway of compassion and slowly arrived at acceptance. I don’t know. I don’t have all of the answers. In this uncertainty, I surrendered to the Divine and I was free. I met myself in a deeper capacity, and discovered that I can hold space for the pain in this world and still trust.

Taking that courageous leap into the unknown, heart fully open and exposed, not knowing where I will land, not having it all figured out and tied up in neat little bows. Being fully present with the uncertainty, remembering that I am a Queen, and crawling back up onto my throne. Deeply feeling the mystery and beauty of Life. That’s how trust is feeling to me these days.